Looking Beyond the Label
I’m about to say something that might make you feel a bit uncomfortable. But it’s important, and you deserve to hear it. What if what we’re so quick to label as “autism behavior” is actually a child’s body desperately trying to tell us something? What if, by focusing only on surface behaviors, we’re all looking in the wrong direction?
I’ve worked with countless families where mountains of effort are poured into managing behaviors: behavior charts, specialized therapies, even rounds of medication. But here’s the thing—almost nobody stops to ask the most basic question:
“What is this child’s body actually experiencing right now?”
That single question has the power to shake everything we think we know about “managing” autism-related behaviors.
Why Are We Looking in the Wrong Place?
It’s safe—socially and emotionally—to say, “My child needs more discipline,” or “He just has a brain different from other kids.” What’s much harder? Asking when your child last had a solid bowel movement. Or what happens to their behavior two hours after a certain meal. Or how their body reacts to everyday exposures that seem harmless on the surface.
These unglamorous, uncomfortable questions are usually the ones that hold the real keys to progress.
Why the Body and the Brain Are So Closely Connected
When your child’s gut is inflamed, their nervous system doesn’t just get a little cranky—it goes into full-blown survival mode. In that state, you don’t get to see your child for who they truly are. All you get are stress responses: fight, flight, freeze, or total shutdown.
And what do we see? All the behaviors everyone is eager to fix or medicate or manage away. But could it be that we’re just seeing symptoms—not the actual source of the difficulty?
Maya’s Story: What Changed My Mindset
Let me tell you about a little girl who changed the way I thought about all of this. I’ll call her Maya (not her real name). She was 9 years old when she came to my office. Unlike the other kids I’d seen, Maya wasn’t having huge meltdowns or tantrums. Instead, she’d simply gone silent. She’d stopped talking to her family, wouldn’t try anything new, and barely spoke to anyone at all.
Her family and therapists had plenty of theories—selective mutism and anxiety disorder were high on the list. They tried it all: types of therapy, anti-anxiety meds, behavioral interventions. Her parents felt they were failing because nothing worked. But here’s what stood out to me: nobody was asking what was happening inside Maya’s body.
Digging Deeper: What Was Really Happening in Maya’s Body?
At the time we met, Maya’s whole diet consisted of just a handful of foods. Crackers, applesauce, dry cereal, white rice—mostly refined carbohydrates. She ate a few other things, but this was her comfort zone.
Her digestive system was totally overwhelmed. Anything outside her “safe foods” felt like a threat, not because she was being difficult, but because her gut was basically on fire. So instead of taking away the foods she felt safe with or forcing dietary changes, I helped her body in a much gentler way. We:
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Supported her digestion with some non-invasive steps
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Found simple ways to reduce inflammation in her gut and brain
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Gave her nervous system the chance to switch off “high alert”
Little by little, everything started to change.
Small Wins, Big Shifts: The Power of Feeling Safe
Within just a few weeks, Maya did something amazing: she tried a green bean. That might not sound revolutionary, but for many autistic kids, trying a new food is a huge deal. She wasn’t forced or bribed into it—her body simply felt safe enough to be curious.
A couple of months later, Maya started humming as she colored. Soon after, she began asking her parents questions, making silly faces, and engaging with her family again. The parents described it as watching their little girl gradually step back into the light after months behind a curtain.
What Does This Mean for Other Kids Like Maya?
Here’s the bottom line: I’m not saying every autistic child’s experience is caused by food sensitivities, or that every behavioral challenge comes down to the gut. That’s too simple, and honestly, it’s not true. But sometimes, what looks like a behavioral or developmental issue is actually a biological one.
When you uncover what’s happening inside the body—what’s really going on, beneath the surface—you actually make space for the real child to show up.
“When you support gut health, you support brain function. When you reduce systemic inflammation, you increase a child’s capacity for connection, learning, and self-regulation.”
This isn’t “alternative medicine.” This is basic biology—a kind of common sense that we’ve somehow forgotten when it comes to our most vulnerable kids.
How Gut Health and Brain Health Work Together
Let’s break down some science, simply:
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The Gut-Brain Connection: The digestive system (“gut”) and the nervous system (“brain”) are closely connected. When the gut is inflamed or out of balance, the brain gets the message that things aren’t safe.
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Behavioral Changes: In that “unsafe” state, the body launches protective behaviors—fight, flight, freeze, or shut down. These can look exactly like the symptoms we associate with autism or anxiety.
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Calm Gut, Calm Brain: Support the gut—and reduce inflammation—and the “real” child can finally emerge.
The Hard Questions Aren’t Glamorous—But They Matter
Let’s face it: No one wants to talk about their kid’s poop, digestion, or food reactions at birthday parties. But asking these messy, awkward questions can make all the difference:
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When was your child’s last comfortable bowel movement?
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What foods do they crave or avoid—and what happens after eating them?
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How does your child act two hours after eating… or when they haven’t eaten in a while?
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What are their energy levels like throughout the day?
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Do their symptoms get worse during allergy season, or after environmental exposures?
Uncovering answers to these questions can completely change the direction of your child’s support plan.
It’s Not About “Fixing” Your Child—but Seeing Them Clearly
The goal isn’t to “fix” kids or erase who they are. After all, your child is not a problem to solve. The real issue is whether their body is making it hard for their true self to shine through.
Sometimes, behaviors aren’t about willfulness, disobedience, or a diagnosis—they’re about survival. Your child could be communicating the only way their body allows.
“Your child’s behavior might not be the problem you need to fix. It might be the solution your child’s body is trying to show you.”
Practical Steps: What Can You Do Right Now?
If you suspect your child’s behavior might be connected to how they feel inside, here are a few places to start:
1. Start a Symptom & Food Journal
Write down what your child eats, how they behave afterward, and any body signals (tummy aches, constipation, rashes, etc). Patterns may emerge over days or weeks.
2. Don’t Rush Dietary Changes
If your child has strong attachments to specific foods, don’t rip them away. The goal isn’t to provoke panic. Instead, look for gentle ways to support the body—hydration, basic supplements (if recommended by your provider), and easy-on-the-gut foods.
3. Ask Your Healthcare Team the Hard Questions
Don’t be afraid to bring up digestion, food reactions, or inflammation with your child’s pediatrician or specialists. If they dismiss your concerns, keep looking until you find someone who listens.
4. Address the Gut Gently
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Be sure work with your child’s healthcare provider.
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Watch for improvements in mood, energy, sleep, and openness to new experiences.
5. Celebrate Small Wins
If your child laughs, makes a silly face, tries a new hobby, or eats a new food—even once—recognize it! Progress is often slow and non-linear, but every positive step matters.
When You Need Professional Help: Food and Behavior Breakthrough Sessions
If Maya’s story resonates and you want to dig deeper, you’re not alone. I offer Food and Behavior Breakthrough sessions—private one-on-one consults—where we sit down, decode your child’s symptoms and behaviors, and figure out what they’re really telling us. No generic supplement routines, no “one size fits all” elimination diets.
Click here for more information or to book a call.
If you’re ready to look beyond the surface and find real answers—answers tailored to your child—this is your next step.
Final Thoughts: Your Child Deserves More Than Behavior Management
You don’t have to settle for endless behavior charts or a stack of labels. Your child is more than their diagnosis, and sometimes, the “problem behaviors” are simply their biology asking for help. As a parent or caregiver, it’s not your job to have all the answers—the real power comes from asking the right questions, even if they’re uncomfortable.
“Your child deserves more than behavior management. They deserve to be seen and supported for who they truly are.”
Your willingness to ask the hard questions means you’re already making a real difference for your child.